Ever heard of "Strange Sex?" I am watching a show called, "Strange Sex." I can't believe that people would want to be in a polyandrous relationship. I would not want this. I only want to be in a monogamous relationship. I can only picture myself married to one man for the rest of my life (later, not now). I'm still too young and really don't want to be in a relationship right now.
This woman had two male partners. She claims that they do not do any kinky threesome stuff. Who knows what they do behind closed doors. She got pregnant by one of her partners and they are all raising him together. That is going to be one confused baby. Who is he going to call daddy? Is he going to call the other man "uncle or papa?" I don't know how they all can emotionally handle a relationship like that.
Another case on the show is a woman that has orgasmic births. So she has a "physical" orgasm when she gave birth to her daughter. This is just strange to me. I can imagine going from feeling intense pain to extreme pleasure. I think that only on rare occasions women experience orgasms while giving birth.
I actually really like this show.
On a different episode there is a guy that is a sex addict. He says that he feels alone while having sex. He slept with at least 3,000 people. OMG. He probably has a high chance of having an STD. I think that sleeping with 10 different people is a little too much. Don't these people care about QUALITY and NOT QUANTITY?
xoxo,
Kat
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Almond Brownie
This is an almond topped brownie. It's so yummy. I helped my roommate Sally bake it. The almonds are a good balance to the sweetness of the chocolate. I wish that I had white chocolate and macadamia nuts so that I can put it in the brownie. Next time I will make it with white chocolate and macadamia nuts. I just love baking (it's a good stress reliever).
xoxo,
Kat
Shoegasm
I have been feeling really down lately. Emotionally drained. I wanted company and someone that I would be able to talk to. I made plans with my friend Cecilia to meet up on Friday after work. I was so looking forward to talking to a friend that I haven't seen in a month. Something you should know about Cecilia is that she is a foodie like me. We love food. We like go to new places to eat too. So after work we met up and went to Philz Coffee. It just opened down on Shattuck (north side). There coffee is pretty amazing and word on the street is that in the morning they have really good pastries. (I will have to try there pastry sometime next week). I had the philtered soul coffee and coconut macaroon. The coffee was good, but I prefer my coffee to be really sweet. Next time, I'll tell them to add more sugar. However, the coffee balance out the sweetness of the coconut macaroon. Cecilia and I didn't even feel the earthquake that hit SF.
After coffee (which was like two hours) we decided to do a little shopping. I did not think that I would buy anything. When I went into the store, I went straight to the shoes. OMG! I was having a shoegasm. I felt like I died and gone to heaven. I first picked up a pair of Enzo Angolini leathered flats. Then I saw Steve Madden's black patent leather heels and had to have them. They look really sexy on. My favorite pair that I bought was the Bandolino violet suede wedges.
Afterward we went to a book store and I bought a leather bound, gold-trimmed book that contains five novels from Charlotte and Emily Bronte. This is so bad. Whenever I am with Cecilia, I spend money.
Cecilia and I decided to go to Ippuku for drinks before getting dinner. I got a Suntory beer while she got an amami soju. The beer was good. Next time I think I will try the 18 year old Suntory wiskey. The waiter said that it is very good. We had dinner at Cheeseboard. They had a peach pizza that day so the line was pretty long. I was expecting the pizza to have huge chunks of peaches all over it. The pizza actually had very thin layers of peaches underneath the cheese. It was more of a savory pizza. It was not sweet at all, but a little bit salty due to the cheese. The pizza was different. I'm glad I tried it.
At the end of the day the shopping and company of a friend did made me happy, but only in that "Moment." I realized that I was still sad and in this "dark mood." Buying things do not really make people happy. It just gives them a high and when that high is over, they buy more things to be able to experience that high again. I love my NEW SHOES, but I guess I just feel disappoint with people in general. A girl can never have too many shoes. =]
Here are some pictures of my new shoes. Enjoy.
The first photos are of the Bandolino wedges.
The second photo is of the Enzo Angolini flats
The last photo is of the Steve Madden patent leather heels
xoxo,
Kat
After coffee (which was like two hours) we decided to do a little shopping. I did not think that I would buy anything. When I went into the store, I went straight to the shoes. OMG! I was having a shoegasm. I felt like I died and gone to heaven. I first picked up a pair of Enzo Angolini leathered flats. Then I saw Steve Madden's black patent leather heels and had to have them. They look really sexy on. My favorite pair that I bought was the Bandolino violet suede wedges.
Afterward we went to a book store and I bought a leather bound, gold-trimmed book that contains five novels from Charlotte and Emily Bronte. This is so bad. Whenever I am with Cecilia, I spend money.
Cecilia and I decided to go to Ippuku for drinks before getting dinner. I got a Suntory beer while she got an amami soju. The beer was good. Next time I think I will try the 18 year old Suntory wiskey. The waiter said that it is very good. We had dinner at Cheeseboard. They had a peach pizza that day so the line was pretty long. I was expecting the pizza to have huge chunks of peaches all over it. The pizza actually had very thin layers of peaches underneath the cheese. It was more of a savory pizza. It was not sweet at all, but a little bit salty due to the cheese. The pizza was different. I'm glad I tried it.
At the end of the day the shopping and company of a friend did made me happy, but only in that "Moment." I realized that I was still sad and in this "dark mood." Buying things do not really make people happy. It just gives them a high and when that high is over, they buy more things to be able to experience that high again. I love my NEW SHOES, but I guess I just feel disappoint with people in general. A girl can never have too many shoes. =]
Here are some pictures of my new shoes. Enjoy.
The first photos are of the Bandolino wedges.
The second photo is of the Enzo Angolini flats
The last photo is of the Steve Madden patent leather heels
xoxo,
Kat
Mind Blowing
Last Friday, I went to the theaters with my sister Jenny and cousins Bich and Rosemary. We watched Inception. Inception is an American science fiction-action film (set within the architecture of the mind) written, produced, and directed by Christopher Nolan and starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page, and Cillian Murphy. The film is inspired by the experience of lucid dreaming. The film centers on Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio), an "extractor", who enters the dreams of others to obtain information that is otherwise inaccessible. His abilities have cost him his family and his nationality, but a chance at redemption and regaining his old life is promised when Cobb and his team of specialists are hired to plant an idea in a target's (Cillian Murphy) subconscious. This process of planting of an idea, known as "inception", is less familiar and far more difficult than Cobb's usual job of "extraction". This is the first movie in a long time that I am actually really excited to watch. I really liked the movie.
"What's the most resilient parasite? An idea. A single idea from the human mind can build cities. An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules. Which is why I have to steal it." This is sort of scary. Imagining that your ideas, thoughts can be stolen while you are sleeping.
The action and special effects were amazing. The shifting “gravity” fighting scenes were so well shot and well done. The way the actors walked across walls and and flew in awkward ways looked so seamless. I thought the hotel scenes basically outclassed the awesome shooting done in the snow fortress scenes. Overall I think that the cinematography is very beautiful and thought out.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt-I think I'm in love (I would so marry him in a heart beat)! He is so gorgeous and handsome. I just love the way he dressed in the film. I wish more guys these days would dress as well as Levitt's character Arthur. I especially love the scene where the dreamer’s subconscious is getting suspicious, so Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) tells the Architect (Ellen Page) to kiss him. Arthur: “It was worth a try.”
Cillian Murphy is pretty hot too. He has such amazing blue eyes. They are so piercing. My sister Jenny prefers Cillian Murphy to Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I remember telling her in the theater that he is so handsome and she had the "Ew, what are you thinking?" look on her face.
I drool just looking at Tom Hardy (just kidding). Inception had a really good cast of handsome actors. Leonardo DiCapro always pick really good roles to play.
I like how Inception left a cliffhanging at the end of the film. At the end of the film, the first scene in which Cobb is washed ashore is repeated. Saito is revealed to be the old man, aged due to the exponential nature of time in successively deeper dreams and has lived an entire life not knowing that he was dreaming. Saito remembers Cobb and reaches for the handgun as the top is still shown ceaselessly spinning. Cobb awakens on the plane to find everyone well, including Saito, who honors his agreement. He places a call and Cobb successfully clears immigration and customs into the USA as the rest of the team go their separate ways. He finally returns home and spins his totem spinning top on the table, but is distracted by his children playing outside. The top keeps spinning and starts to wobble slightly as the film ends, leaving the question of whether Cobb is still dreaming unresolved. So the audience can interpret the ending however they want.
I think that Cobb is still dreaming and that he is still in limbo. Because his children is wearing the same clothing in all of the dreams and in that last seen too. Also the top never stops spinning.
xoxo,
Kat
"What's the most resilient parasite? An idea. A single idea from the human mind can build cities. An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules. Which is why I have to steal it." This is sort of scary. Imagining that your ideas, thoughts can be stolen while you are sleeping.
The action and special effects were amazing. The shifting “gravity” fighting scenes were so well shot and well done. The way the actors walked across walls and and flew in awkward ways looked so seamless. I thought the hotel scenes basically outclassed the awesome shooting done in the snow fortress scenes. Overall I think that the cinematography is very beautiful and thought out.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt-I think I'm in love (I would so marry him in a heart beat)! He is so gorgeous and handsome. I just love the way he dressed in the film. I wish more guys these days would dress as well as Levitt's character Arthur. I especially love the scene where the dreamer’s subconscious is getting suspicious, so Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) tells the Architect (Ellen Page) to kiss him. Arthur: “It was worth a try.”
Cillian Murphy is pretty hot too. He has such amazing blue eyes. They are so piercing. My sister Jenny prefers Cillian Murphy to Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I remember telling her in the theater that he is so handsome and she had the "Ew, what are you thinking?" look on her face.
I drool just looking at Tom Hardy (just kidding). Inception had a really good cast of handsome actors. Leonardo DiCapro always pick really good roles to play.
I like how Inception left a cliffhanging at the end of the film. At the end of the film, the first scene in which Cobb is washed ashore is repeated. Saito is revealed to be the old man, aged due to the exponential nature of time in successively deeper dreams and has lived an entire life not knowing that he was dreaming. Saito remembers Cobb and reaches for the handgun as the top is still shown ceaselessly spinning. Cobb awakens on the plane to find everyone well, including Saito, who honors his agreement. He places a call and Cobb successfully clears immigration and customs into the USA as the rest of the team go their separate ways. He finally returns home and spins his totem spinning top on the table, but is distracted by his children playing outside. The top keeps spinning and starts to wobble slightly as the film ends, leaving the question of whether Cobb is still dreaming unresolved. So the audience can interpret the ending however they want.
I think that Cobb is still dreaming and that he is still in limbo. Because his children is wearing the same clothing in all of the dreams and in that last seen too. Also the top never stops spinning.
xoxo,
Kat
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Happy Girls are the Prettiest Girls
These are some of my favorite quotes from Audrey Hepburn that I try to incorporate into my everyday life.
"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person." (laughter is the best medicine in the whole world)
"I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it." (this is so true, I have a lot of love to give)
"If I get married, I want to be very married." (I only want to get marry once in my lifetime. I don't see myself getting a divorce)
"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others."
(I do not like to use profanity. I only use profanity when I am really angry)
This quote is my absolute favorite quote of all time.
"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
-Pink is my favorite color even though I don't wear a lot of pink. Kissing works the muscles in your face-making you look younger. I try to laugh everyday even when things are not going my way. I totally agree that happy girls are the prettiest girls =)
xoxo,
Kat
"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person." (laughter is the best medicine in the whole world)
"I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it." (this is so true, I have a lot of love to give)
"If I get married, I want to be very married." (I only want to get marry once in my lifetime. I don't see myself getting a divorce)
"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others."
(I do not like to use profanity. I only use profanity when I am really angry)
This quote is my absolute favorite quote of all time.
"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
-Pink is my favorite color even though I don't wear a lot of pink. Kissing works the muscles in your face-making you look younger. I try to laugh everyday even when things are not going my way. I totally agree that happy girls are the prettiest girls =)
xoxo,
Kat
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Dutchmen's Lost
I've been meaning to write about the world cup but I have been lagging. I was rooting for the Dutchmen (I have to stick with family loyalty, especially since I have relatives that live in the Netherlands). They are probably really upset over the lost. I'm not. I am not a huge soccer fan, but I wanted the Dutch to win. It's amazing how the dutch and spaniards have so much team spirit. I've been to the Netherlands and have seen the decorations in the streets when Germany hosted the world cup four years ago. The whole country looks beautiful with streets decorated in banners. I do like to watch sports though. I was really disappointed with this last match. It was a TERRIBLE game (players played dirty) and none of them can get the ball into the goal. It was also too long in my opinion. I feel sad for the Dutch because they have really good soccer players.
On another note, Torres is the only hot player on the Spain team. Torres=yummy! I can look at him all day and not get tired. All the other soccer players paled in comparison. My eyes were glued to Torres (I would marry him in a heartbeat) just kidding or not...The man is simply gorgeous.
Bye South Africa, hello Brazil in 2014! I can't wait for the next world cup. It's funny how Brazil, who is the reigning 5 time world cup holder, did not make it to the final match. This shows that you can never be too cocky.
xoxo,
Kat
On another note, Torres is the only hot player on the Spain team. Torres=yummy! I can look at him all day and not get tired. All the other soccer players paled in comparison. My eyes were glued to Torres (I would marry him in a heartbeat) just kidding or not...The man is simply gorgeous.
Bye South Africa, hello Brazil in 2014! I can't wait for the next world cup. It's funny how Brazil, who is the reigning 5 time world cup holder, did not make it to the final match. This shows that you can never be too cocky.
xoxo,
Kat
Getting Whooped
I have been feeling the blues lately for the past week and a half. It is partially due to me being sick and the gloomy Berkeley weather. It puts me into a dark mood. I don't know why, but this week I have just been really down and sad. I don't feel like socializing with other people. This is why I haven't been posting any new blogs lately. I am too tired to even want to type anything or think. I just want to curl up in bed and stay there the whole day. But I don't have that luxury. I have work everyday.
I can honestly say that I am losing my voice more each day. I don't know if I have the flu or cold. At first I had a fever, my throat hurts a lot, I can't breathe, had headaches and started to cough. It is torture at night when I have to breathe through my mouth. Today, I think that I am getting better. I still sneeze, cough, and at times can't breather; however, my voice is not as bad as last week. I think I just need to rest, but haven't been able to with work. I feel tired and I think I surprised my roommates yesterday when I went to bed really early. I was pretty out of it. It is so unfair that my roommate got sick when I did, but she is all better now. Whereas I am still sick. It sucks when my immune system can't fight bacteria or viruses since I am taking immunosuppressants. So it takes me longer than the average person to get better.
TODAY I decided to go to the gym. Maybe working out will make me feel better. Let's just say that the scoreboard is stairmaster:1 me:0. I got my ass whooped by the stairmaster. My legs and butt will feel sore tomorrow. But all is fair in love and war. The stairmaster and cybrex is whooping my body back into shape. I want to be tone and healthy. Exercise is good for me. My Rheumy even ordered me to exercise. I am finally taking better care of myself: by eating a more balance diet, exercising and taking my medications.
I think that exercising can be addicting. I'm going to become a GYM RAT. I am going to the gym tomorrow after work. Working out is never fun, but it makes me feel good after I exercise and my joints won't be stiff. One lesson that I learned today is to never eat a huge meal before working out. There were many times that I felt like I would throw up while I was on the stairmaster. Next time I will eat something light (maybe an apple).
xoxo,
Kat
I can honestly say that I am losing my voice more each day. I don't know if I have the flu or cold. At first I had a fever, my throat hurts a lot, I can't breathe, had headaches and started to cough. It is torture at night when I have to breathe through my mouth. Today, I think that I am getting better. I still sneeze, cough, and at times can't breather; however, my voice is not as bad as last week. I think I just need to rest, but haven't been able to with work. I feel tired and I think I surprised my roommates yesterday when I went to bed really early. I was pretty out of it. It is so unfair that my roommate got sick when I did, but she is all better now. Whereas I am still sick. It sucks when my immune system can't fight bacteria or viruses since I am taking immunosuppressants. So it takes me longer than the average person to get better.
TODAY I decided to go to the gym. Maybe working out will make me feel better. Let's just say that the scoreboard is stairmaster:1 me:0. I got my ass whooped by the stairmaster. My legs and butt will feel sore tomorrow. But all is fair in love and war. The stairmaster and cybrex is whooping my body back into shape. I want to be tone and healthy. Exercise is good for me. My Rheumy even ordered me to exercise. I am finally taking better care of myself: by eating a more balance diet, exercising and taking my medications.
I think that exercising can be addicting. I'm going to become a GYM RAT. I am going to the gym tomorrow after work. Working out is never fun, but it makes me feel good after I exercise and my joints won't be stiff. One lesson that I learned today is to never eat a huge meal before working out. There were many times that I felt like I would throw up while I was on the stairmaster. Next time I will eat something light (maybe an apple).
xoxo,
Kat
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Systemic Lupus Erythematosus
I have been meaning to do a post about Lupus for a while now and decided that today is the day. It makes me angry that people don't really know what "Lupus" is even though it affects 1.5 million Americans and at least 5 million people worldwide. When I tell people that I have lupus aka sle they are like, "Oh, like that one girl on Top Model." It's like yes; however, lupus affects each person differently. It's not one size fit all. It really upsets me how uneducated people can be. Especially when they find out that I have sle and says things like, "But you don't look sick, are you cured now." I may not look sick from the outside but inside my body is destroying itself. Some people can be really insensitive. There is NO CURE for sle.
Lupus is an autoimmune disease. In some ways, lupus represents a kind of allergic reaction by the body, in which the immune system sees the body’s own healthy tissues and cells as foreign.
Lupus is a chronic disease. This means that anyone who develops lupus will have lupus for the rest of his or her life. As with other chronic illnesses such as diabetes or asthma, there is no cure for lupus yet. However, there are medications and lifestyle adjustments that help most people live active and productive lives in spite of these illnesses.
Lupus has many different symptoms, and because of that, affects each person differently. Lupus can cause a mild skin rash or achy joints, or can involve the kidneys, heart, lungs, brain, or other internal organs. What most people do not realize, however, is how much effort it may take you to function day-to-day when you have to cope with extreme fatigue, chronic pain, memory loss, medication side effects, and/or visible skin lesions.
Lupus is unpredictable. Doctors don't know the cause of Lupus. They think that it is genetic and the environment that causes a person to have Lupus.
Here are some Lupus Facts:
Lupus is a disease of flares (the symptoms worsen and you feel ill) and remissions (the symptoms improve and you feel better). Lupus can range from mild to life-threatening and should always be treated by a doctor. With good medical care, most people with lupus can lead a full life.
Lupus is not contagious, not even through sexual contact. You cannot "catch" lupus from someone or "give" lupus to someone.
Lupus is not like or related to cancer. Cancer is a condition of malignant, abnormal tissues that grow rapidly and spread into surrounding tissues. Lupus is an autoimmune disease, as described above.
Lupus is not like or related to HIV (Human Immune Deficiency Virus) or AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). In HIV or AIDS the immune system is underactive; in lupus, the immune system is overactive.
There are 4 forms of Lupus. I have SLE
Systemic Lupus Erythematosus
Systemic lupus is the most common form of lupus, and is what most people mean when they refer to "lupus." Systemic lupus can be mild or severe. Some of the more serious complications involving major organ systems are:
inflammation of the kidneys (lupus nephritis), which can affect the body’s ability to filter waste from the blood and can be so damaging that dialysis or kidney transplant may be needed
an increase in blood pressure in the lungs (pulmonary hypertension)
inflammation of the nervous system and brain, which can cause memory problems, confusion, headaches, and strokes
inflammation in the brain’s blood vessels, which can cause high fevers, seizures, behavioral changes,
hardening of the arteries (coronary artery disease), which is a buildup of deposits on coronary artery walls that can lead to a heart attack
Cutaneous Lupus Erythematosus
Cutaneous refers to the skin, and this form of lupus is limited to the skin. Although there are many types of rashes and lesions (sores) caused by cutaneous lupus, the most common rash is raised, scaly and red, but not itchy. It is commonly known as a discoid rash, because the areas of rash are shaped like disks, or circles. Another common example of cutaneous lupus is a rash over the cheeks and across the bridge of the nose, known as the butterfly rash. Other rashes or sores may appear on the face, neck, or scalp (areas of the skin that are exposed to sunlight or fluorescent light), or in the mouth, nose, or vagina. Hair loss and changes in the pigment, or color, of the skin are also symptoms of cutaneous lupus.
Approximately 10 percent of people who have cutaneous lupus will develop systemic lupus. However, it is likely that these people already had systemic lupus, with the skin rash as their main symptom.
Drug-induced Lupus Erythematosus
Drug-induced lupus is a lupus-like disease caused by certain prescription drugs. The symptoms of drug-induced lupus are similar to those of systemic lupus, but only rarely will any major organs be affected.
The drugs most commonly connected with drug-induced lupus are hydralazine (used to treat high blood pressure or hypertension), procainamide (used to treat irregular heart rhythms), and isoniazid (used to treat tuberculosis). Drug-induced lupus is more common in men because they are given these drugs more often; however, not everyone who takes these drugs will develop drug-induced lupus. The lupus-like symptoms usually disappear within six months after these medications are stopped.
Neonatal Lupus
Neonatal lupus is a rare condition that affects infants of women who have lupus and is caused by antibodies from the mother acting upon the infant in the womb. At birth, the infant may have a skin rash, liver problems, or low blood cell counts, but these symptoms disappear completely after several months with no lasting effects. Some infants with neonatal lupus can also have a serious heart defect. With proper testing, physicians can now identify most at-risk mothers, and the infant can be treated at or before birth. Most infants of mothers with lupus are entirely healthy.
With sle I have experience hair loss. I use to have three times the amount of hair that I have now. A severe lupus flare can result in fragile hair that breaks easily. It is good that I have a lot of hair to begin with or else I would be bald.
I have also experience Raynaud’s phenomenon. Raynaud phenomenon is a condition in which the blood vessels in your hands and feet go into spasm, causing restricted blood flow. Lupus-related Raynaud’s usually results from inflammation of nerves or blood vessels and most often happens in cold temperatures, causing the tips of your fingers or toes to turn red, white, or blue. My hand and feet usually will feel numb for a couple of hours and it will stay cold and stiff during that whole time.
Besides having major headaches, arthritis pain and the noticeable butterfly rash, I also experienced the "lupus fog." The term "lupus fog" reflects the difficulty that I have in completing once-familiar tasks, such as remembering names and dates, keeping appointments, or processing my thoughts. The proper term is "cognitive dysfunction" or "cognitive impairment," this inability to recall information can be extremely frustrating. These symptoms may come and go, but may also be continuous, making school or work difficult or even impossible in extreme cases. I am lucky that my lupus fog have gone away...
Anti-inflammatory medications help to relieve many of the symptoms of lupus by reducing inflammation and pain. Steroid medications work quickly to decrease the swelling, warmth, tenderness, and pain that are associated with inflammation. They do this by lessening the immune system’s response. Prednisone is the most commonly prescribed steroid for lupus. And it is also the most hated! Steroids can produce a variety of side effects. The most common are changes in appearance (acne, a round or moon-shaped face, weight gain due to increased appetite, and hair growth). Steroids can cause fluid retention and a redistribution of fat, leading to a swollen face and abdomen, but thin arms and legs. Also, the skin becomes more fragile and bruises easily. I hated when I was on steroids-I always had the moon face and water retention in my ankles. Thank God, I didn't have acne. Plus the prednisone tasted nasty...Antimalarials improve lupus by decreasing autoantibody production, protecting against the damaging effects of ultraviolet light from the sun and other sources, and improving skin lesions. I take these too. If I ever get malaria I will already have the medication for it. Immunosuppressive drugs reduce your body’s ability to fight off infections, and increase the chances that you could develop viral infections. I take Imuran, which is an immunosuppressive drug that works like chemotherapy. I don't like the fact that my hair falls out more now. It's like a dog shedding it's fur. I also take aspirin to thin out my blood. My doctor is afraid that I will have blood clots.
People with Lupus are able to lead a long healthy life if they are on medication and is constantly monitored by their doctors (which I am).
I am pretty excited that Lonza is going to manufacture HGS and GSK’s Lupus Drug: Benlysta. This will be the first drug to treat Lupus in 50 years!
If you want to learn more about Lupus, please check out: http://www.lupus.org/
xoxo,
Kat
Lupus is an autoimmune disease. In some ways, lupus represents a kind of allergic reaction by the body, in which the immune system sees the body’s own healthy tissues and cells as foreign.
Lupus is a chronic disease. This means that anyone who develops lupus will have lupus for the rest of his or her life. As with other chronic illnesses such as diabetes or asthma, there is no cure for lupus yet. However, there are medications and lifestyle adjustments that help most people live active and productive lives in spite of these illnesses.
Lupus has many different symptoms, and because of that, affects each person differently. Lupus can cause a mild skin rash or achy joints, or can involve the kidneys, heart, lungs, brain, or other internal organs. What most people do not realize, however, is how much effort it may take you to function day-to-day when you have to cope with extreme fatigue, chronic pain, memory loss, medication side effects, and/or visible skin lesions.
Lupus is unpredictable. Doctors don't know the cause of Lupus. They think that it is genetic and the environment that causes a person to have Lupus.
Here are some Lupus Facts:
Lupus is a disease of flares (the symptoms worsen and you feel ill) and remissions (the symptoms improve and you feel better). Lupus can range from mild to life-threatening and should always be treated by a doctor. With good medical care, most people with lupus can lead a full life.
Lupus is not contagious, not even through sexual contact. You cannot "catch" lupus from someone or "give" lupus to someone.
Lupus is not like or related to cancer. Cancer is a condition of malignant, abnormal tissues that grow rapidly and spread into surrounding tissues. Lupus is an autoimmune disease, as described above.
Lupus is not like or related to HIV (Human Immune Deficiency Virus) or AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). In HIV or AIDS the immune system is underactive; in lupus, the immune system is overactive.
There are 4 forms of Lupus. I have SLE
Systemic Lupus Erythematosus
Systemic lupus is the most common form of lupus, and is what most people mean when they refer to "lupus." Systemic lupus can be mild or severe. Some of the more serious complications involving major organ systems are:
inflammation of the kidneys (lupus nephritis), which can affect the body’s ability to filter waste from the blood and can be so damaging that dialysis or kidney transplant may be needed
an increase in blood pressure in the lungs (pulmonary hypertension)
inflammation of the nervous system and brain, which can cause memory problems, confusion, headaches, and strokes
inflammation in the brain’s blood vessels, which can cause high fevers, seizures, behavioral changes,
hardening of the arteries (coronary artery disease), which is a buildup of deposits on coronary artery walls that can lead to a heart attack
Cutaneous Lupus Erythematosus
Cutaneous refers to the skin, and this form of lupus is limited to the skin. Although there are many types of rashes and lesions (sores) caused by cutaneous lupus, the most common rash is raised, scaly and red, but not itchy. It is commonly known as a discoid rash, because the areas of rash are shaped like disks, or circles. Another common example of cutaneous lupus is a rash over the cheeks and across the bridge of the nose, known as the butterfly rash. Other rashes or sores may appear on the face, neck, or scalp (areas of the skin that are exposed to sunlight or fluorescent light), or in the mouth, nose, or vagina. Hair loss and changes in the pigment, or color, of the skin are also symptoms of cutaneous lupus.
Approximately 10 percent of people who have cutaneous lupus will develop systemic lupus. However, it is likely that these people already had systemic lupus, with the skin rash as their main symptom.
Drug-induced Lupus Erythematosus
Drug-induced lupus is a lupus-like disease caused by certain prescription drugs. The symptoms of drug-induced lupus are similar to those of systemic lupus, but only rarely will any major organs be affected.
The drugs most commonly connected with drug-induced lupus are hydralazine (used to treat high blood pressure or hypertension), procainamide (used to treat irregular heart rhythms), and isoniazid (used to treat tuberculosis). Drug-induced lupus is more common in men because they are given these drugs more often; however, not everyone who takes these drugs will develop drug-induced lupus. The lupus-like symptoms usually disappear within six months after these medications are stopped.
Neonatal Lupus
Neonatal lupus is a rare condition that affects infants of women who have lupus and is caused by antibodies from the mother acting upon the infant in the womb. At birth, the infant may have a skin rash, liver problems, or low blood cell counts, but these symptoms disappear completely after several months with no lasting effects. Some infants with neonatal lupus can also have a serious heart defect. With proper testing, physicians can now identify most at-risk mothers, and the infant can be treated at or before birth. Most infants of mothers with lupus are entirely healthy.
With sle I have experience hair loss. I use to have three times the amount of hair that I have now. A severe lupus flare can result in fragile hair that breaks easily. It is good that I have a lot of hair to begin with or else I would be bald.
I have also experience Raynaud’s phenomenon. Raynaud phenomenon is a condition in which the blood vessels in your hands and feet go into spasm, causing restricted blood flow. Lupus-related Raynaud’s usually results from inflammation of nerves or blood vessels and most often happens in cold temperatures, causing the tips of your fingers or toes to turn red, white, or blue. My hand and feet usually will feel numb for a couple of hours and it will stay cold and stiff during that whole time.
Besides having major headaches, arthritis pain and the noticeable butterfly rash, I also experienced the "lupus fog." The term "lupus fog" reflects the difficulty that I have in completing once-familiar tasks, such as remembering names and dates, keeping appointments, or processing my thoughts. The proper term is "cognitive dysfunction" or "cognitive impairment," this inability to recall information can be extremely frustrating. These symptoms may come and go, but may also be continuous, making school or work difficult or even impossible in extreme cases. I am lucky that my lupus fog have gone away...
Anti-inflammatory medications help to relieve many of the symptoms of lupus by reducing inflammation and pain. Steroid medications work quickly to decrease the swelling, warmth, tenderness, and pain that are associated with inflammation. They do this by lessening the immune system’s response. Prednisone is the most commonly prescribed steroid for lupus. And it is also the most hated! Steroids can produce a variety of side effects. The most common are changes in appearance (acne, a round or moon-shaped face, weight gain due to increased appetite, and hair growth). Steroids can cause fluid retention and a redistribution of fat, leading to a swollen face and abdomen, but thin arms and legs. Also, the skin becomes more fragile and bruises easily. I hated when I was on steroids-I always had the moon face and water retention in my ankles. Thank God, I didn't have acne. Plus the prednisone tasted nasty...Antimalarials improve lupus by decreasing autoantibody production, protecting against the damaging effects of ultraviolet light from the sun and other sources, and improving skin lesions. I take these too. If I ever get malaria I will already have the medication for it. Immunosuppressive drugs reduce your body’s ability to fight off infections, and increase the chances that you could develop viral infections. I take Imuran, which is an immunosuppressive drug that works like chemotherapy. I don't like the fact that my hair falls out more now. It's like a dog shedding it's fur. I also take aspirin to thin out my blood. My doctor is afraid that I will have blood clots.
People with Lupus are able to lead a long healthy life if they are on medication and is constantly monitored by their doctors (which I am).
I am pretty excited that Lonza is going to manufacture HGS and GSK’s Lupus Drug: Benlysta. This will be the first drug to treat Lupus in 50 years!
If you want to learn more about Lupus, please check out: http://www.lupus.org/
xoxo,
Kat
Guilty Pleasure
Please don't laugh at me. It's embarrassing admitting that I watched the Hills for 6 years now ever since junior year of high school...jeez, I'm getting older. I have to admit that The Hills is one of MY GUILTY PLEASURES...even though it was so bad. The Hills wasn't really "reality t.v." Parts of the story was scripted. The cast had to re-shoot scenes that weren't caught on camera (so that it can be aired). I grew up with the cast of The Hills since Laguna Beach air while I was in high school. I don't know what it is about the show that just captivates me. I think that it's the drama, break-ups, make-ups and frenemies that just keep on pulling me back. It's so bad, but you just have to continue watching it. It's like a drug addiction. Very hard to stop once you have started. I'm pretty sad that the show is over. The last episode was aired tonight! I wonder how they are all going to make their money now-to support their lavish lifestyles...
Maybe another reality show in the future? Who knows..
My favorite part of The Hills is when Lauren yells at Heidi, "You know what you did," "Spencer is a sucky, sucky person." I think that I can relate to Lauren. Losing a friend is hard, especially if you thought you knew that person so well, but in the end you finally figured out that you didn't know that person at all. I actually feel sorry for the "Bitch" of the show, Kristen Cavallari. What Brody did to her was pretty messed up. She is actually moving to another country just to get away from him and all the hurt that he caused her. Seeing their relationship made me realize that girls need to stand up for themselves more often. If not guys will lose all respect for you and treat you like shit. Guys need to respect women more, and not treat us like we are some piece of meat (that they can toss around when ever they feel like it). We do have feelings (and feelings get hurt). On another note, I have always loved Lo aka Lauren Bosworth. I think that she has a keeper. Her boyfriend is a cutie. Heidi and Spencer: I think that it's good that they aren't on film anymore. They both need to get help.
I think that it is funny that people see them as "celebrities." I don't. I just think of them as regular people that is trying to make money and get famous by being on t.v. They are just like you and me: trying to be successful and hopefully find a person to spend the rest of our life with. Even if we make bad choices in our partners like Audrina. Justin Bobby sure is a "keeper."I think it's funny when people tries to get their autographs...I will be caught dead before I do this. They are just regular people. Do these people have no shame?
Bye Bye Hills-you have been good to me. I better not have withdrawals...
Lately I have been listening to Eminem ft. Rihanna-"Love the way you Lie"
xoxo,
Kat
Maybe another reality show in the future? Who knows..
My favorite part of The Hills is when Lauren yells at Heidi, "You know what you did," "Spencer is a sucky, sucky person." I think that I can relate to Lauren. Losing a friend is hard, especially if you thought you knew that person so well, but in the end you finally figured out that you didn't know that person at all. I actually feel sorry for the "Bitch" of the show, Kristen Cavallari. What Brody did to her was pretty messed up. She is actually moving to another country just to get away from him and all the hurt that he caused her. Seeing their relationship made me realize that girls need to stand up for themselves more often. If not guys will lose all respect for you and treat you like shit. Guys need to respect women more, and not treat us like we are some piece of meat (that they can toss around when ever they feel like it). We do have feelings (and feelings get hurt). On another note, I have always loved Lo aka Lauren Bosworth. I think that she has a keeper. Her boyfriend is a cutie. Heidi and Spencer: I think that it's good that they aren't on film anymore. They both need to get help.
I think that it is funny that people see them as "celebrities." I don't. I just think of them as regular people that is trying to make money and get famous by being on t.v. They are just like you and me: trying to be successful and hopefully find a person to spend the rest of our life with. Even if we make bad choices in our partners like Audrina. Justin Bobby sure is a "keeper."I think it's funny when people tries to get their autographs...I will be caught dead before I do this. They are just regular people. Do these people have no shame?
Bye Bye Hills-you have been good to me. I better not have withdrawals...
Lately I have been listening to Eminem ft. Rihanna-"Love the way you Lie"
xoxo,
Kat
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Feeling Wicked
I saw Wicked, the musical last Wednesday in San Francisco with my roomies. It was amazing. I absolutely LOVED Wicked!!! The songs that are still stuck in my head are: "Popular" sung by Galinda and "Defying Gravity," by Elphaba. These two main characters were fantastic! I wish I am able to sing like them. The whole show lasted about three hours and it was worth it. The story line of the musical is very interesting. Elphaba is not a wicked witch like how she is portrayed in the Wizard of Oz. Her character is more likable and relatable in Wicked. We get to see her vulnerability and why she is the way that she is.
The next musical on my list that I have been wanting to watch since forever is Phantom of the Opera. If I was able to I would watch musicals all the time.
So I swore that I would not watch the Twilight Saga:Eclipse. However, last Saturday I watched Eclipse with Nastya and Sally. I read all of the twilight novels and refused to watch any of the movies. Because the movies sucked. I mean really vampires? The only vampire series that I am willing to watch is TRUE BLOOD. TRUE BLOOD is the shit even though Sookie annoys me with her voice.
Nastya and Sally got me to watch Eclipse with them. I didn't watch the first two movies though. Eclipse was alright. I prefer the book to the movie. Jacob has the body but he is too beffy for my tastes. One word: Beefcake. I prefer leaner men. He may have the body but not the face. I will always be team Edward. Edward is a better match for Bella. Jacob is too short for her and it looks weird when he is standing next to her. One thing I don't like about the movie is that the werewolves look so fake. They did not look realistic. I don't get why people are so obsessed with vampires and werewolves. Vampires and werewolves don't exist. However some people think that they are real and want to have a vampire/werewolf boyfriend. I mean come on now. You are just deluding yourself.
Now I am pretty excited for the 4th movie, but I won't watch it. I already know what is going to happen in the last movie. More twists to come is all I'm saying. I hope the last movie follows the novel's plot.
xoxo,
Kat
The next musical on my list that I have been wanting to watch since forever is Phantom of the Opera. If I was able to I would watch musicals all the time.
So I swore that I would not watch the Twilight Saga:Eclipse. However, last Saturday I watched Eclipse with Nastya and Sally. I read all of the twilight novels and refused to watch any of the movies. Because the movies sucked. I mean really vampires? The only vampire series that I am willing to watch is TRUE BLOOD. TRUE BLOOD is the shit even though Sookie annoys me with her voice.
Nastya and Sally got me to watch Eclipse with them. I didn't watch the first two movies though. Eclipse was alright. I prefer the book to the movie. Jacob has the body but he is too beffy for my tastes. One word: Beefcake. I prefer leaner men. He may have the body but not the face. I will always be team Edward. Edward is a better match for Bella. Jacob is too short for her and it looks weird when he is standing next to her. One thing I don't like about the movie is that the werewolves look so fake. They did not look realistic. I don't get why people are so obsessed with vampires and werewolves. Vampires and werewolves don't exist. However some people think that they are real and want to have a vampire/werewolf boyfriend. I mean come on now. You are just deluding yourself.
Now I am pretty excited for the 4th movie, but I won't watch it. I already know what is going to happen in the last movie. More twists to come is all I'm saying. I hope the last movie follows the novel's plot.
xoxo,
Kat
Califorina Girls
OMG! So I saw this video like two weeks ago and absolutely fell in love!!! This video puts a smile on my face every time I watch it. I absolutely love the part where the NY gays are run over by the Jeep. You know it's all about the California girls-warm, wet, and wild. We'll melt your Popsicle. Just thought I would share this video with those of you that haven't watch it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kelUCEcdO8M
xoxo,
Kat
xoxo,
Kat
Monday, July 12, 2010
SF Pride Parade
On June 27th, my roommates Jocelyn, Sally and I went to the SF Pride Parade. It was mine and Sally's first time. All I can say is: OMG! Naked bodies everywhere, but where are the HOT gay men? All I saw was old men and their hairy backs and chest. GROSS!
This guy really needs to wax!
So my roommate Jocelyn is a backstreet boys fan. I'm not. I could care less for them. She wanted to watch them perform at the parade. So we headed over to the main stage and stood pretty close to the stage. The Backstreet boys were suppose to perform at 4pm but they didn't. The crowd of gay men and lesbians that where crazy for this boy ban was outrageous. I was literally shoved and squashed to the point where the smell of marijuana, sweet, and my brain not receiving enough oxygen, made me faint three times. I remember telling Jocelyn, "I think I am going to faint, I can't breathe." The next time I opened my eyes I was on the floor and there was a circle of people standing around me, fanning me, and giving me water. I was breathing very hard. I decided to stand there and wait for there performance since Jocelyn wanted to watch them so badly. The third time that I was able to faint I told Jocelyn and Sally to get me out of there. I felt so much better after I was way from the crowd. The backstreet boys are not worth endangering my health.
I felt bad for not telling Jocelyn and Sally that I usually faint in large crowds when I can't breathe. I don't think I'm claustraphobic. I think it's the lack of oxygen that eventually gets to me. The Pride Parade was an awesome evidence though. There was drunk people everywhere, dancing, singing, and drinking more booze. I even saw a teenage that had hot pink duct tape on her breasts.
Here are some of images that I captured at Pride.
This is a photo of the three of us girls.
While we were sitting on the grass the man in front of me was not wearing underwear. This is a crime. Please where underwear next time man. My poor eyes.
xoxo,
Kat
This guy really needs to wax!So my roommate Jocelyn is a backstreet boys fan. I'm not. I could care less for them. She wanted to watch them perform at the parade. So we headed over to the main stage and stood pretty close to the stage. The Backstreet boys were suppose to perform at 4pm but they didn't. The crowd of gay men and lesbians that where crazy for this boy ban was outrageous. I was literally shoved and squashed to the point where the smell of marijuana, sweet, and my brain not receiving enough oxygen, made me faint three times. I remember telling Jocelyn, "I think I am going to faint, I can't breathe." The next time I opened my eyes I was on the floor and there was a circle of people standing around me, fanning me, and giving me water. I was breathing very hard. I decided to stand there and wait for there performance since Jocelyn wanted to watch them so badly. The third time that I was able to faint I told Jocelyn and Sally to get me out of there. I felt so much better after I was way from the crowd. The backstreet boys are not worth endangering my health.
I felt bad for not telling Jocelyn and Sally that I usually faint in large crowds when I can't breathe. I don't think I'm claustraphobic. I think it's the lack of oxygen that eventually gets to me. The Pride Parade was an awesome evidence though. There was drunk people everywhere, dancing, singing, and drinking more booze. I even saw a teenage that had hot pink duct tape on her breasts.
Here are some of images that I captured at Pride.
This is a photo of the three of us girls.
While we were sitting on the grass the man in front of me was not wearing underwear. This is a crime. Please where underwear next time man. My poor eyes.
xoxo,
Kat
Mottos
My NEW Motto in life: Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it...
Another motto that I borrowed from my sister Jenny and tries to incorporate into my life is: Dance as if no one is watching, sing as if no one is listening, and live every day as if it were your last!
These two mottos have taken a very important role in my life recently. My outlook on everything that I believed in has changed drastically. I try to enjoy all of the little things in life because the next day might be your last. Being hospitalized really puts everything into perspective. I just really appreciate things more now than ever. This is why I love dancing in the rain when it is not pouring! I like to take risks (it's fun living on the edge) and it might change your life. I usually let things slide, especially when other people are petty because it is not worth getting work up over nothing. Please don't mistake that this means: I let people walk all over me. I DON'T. Ask my sisters: I can BE MEAN. I really don't need more stress from other peoples' insecurities. I have enough to deal with (I just don't want drama).
I can honestly say that I have never been happier in my life. I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I know who I am, what I want out of life and I like the person I have become. =] I appreciate everyday more now than before because after having my life flash before my eyes (I am determine to do everything at least once). I like taking risks because I don't want to live with regrets, always wondering "what if?" I am very lucky that the doctors caught my lupus early and that I am able to take preventive medications so that my lupus does not damage my organs quickly. Even though it sucks that I have to take these medicines for the rest of my life at least I am still alive.
xoxo,
Kat
Another motto that I borrowed from my sister Jenny and tries to incorporate into my life is: Dance as if no one is watching, sing as if no one is listening, and live every day as if it were your last!
These two mottos have taken a very important role in my life recently. My outlook on everything that I believed in has changed drastically. I try to enjoy all of the little things in life because the next day might be your last. Being hospitalized really puts everything into perspective. I just really appreciate things more now than ever. This is why I love dancing in the rain when it is not pouring! I like to take risks (it's fun living on the edge) and it might change your life. I usually let things slide, especially when other people are petty because it is not worth getting work up over nothing. Please don't mistake that this means: I let people walk all over me. I DON'T. Ask my sisters: I can BE MEAN. I really don't need more stress from other peoples' insecurities. I have enough to deal with (I just don't want drama).
I can honestly say that I have never been happier in my life. I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I know who I am, what I want out of life and I like the person I have become. =] I appreciate everyday more now than before because after having my life flash before my eyes (I am determine to do everything at least once). I like taking risks because I don't want to live with regrets, always wondering "what if?" I am very lucky that the doctors caught my lupus early and that I am able to take preventive medications so that my lupus does not damage my organs quickly. Even though it sucks that I have to take these medicines for the rest of my life at least I am still alive.
xoxo,
Kat
Starting where I left off
Opps...
I promise myself that I would continue posting new blogs; however, this past couple of months have been pretty difficult for me especially juggling school, work, and what little social life I had time to spare. Ever since late January of this year I have been feeling fatigue, and sick. I thought that it was just due to stress and a lupus flare. I had all of my usual symptoms of fevers around 101, rashes, night sweats, feeling cold, losing weight, hair falling out, arthritis pain and losing my appetite. I really didn't think anything was wrong even though I felt sick for two months.
March 7th changes everything. It was the night where I was admitted to the hospital again (a year after I was discharged from the hospital). I was asking my parents for advice when they told me to take my temperature that night. It was 104. My mom and dad was like, "Tell your roommate to take you to the hospital now!" I guess I have not been taking good care of my body. On that Friday when I was at work, my co-worker asked me, "Why are you so bundle up?" My reply, "Because I am freezing." My whole body felt so cold from the inside out. I couldn't get warm. I went to the bathroom and noticed that my fingers and lips were blue. That's when I really freaked out, but did nothing about it. When I got to my apartment, I did not want to bother my roommates so I curled up in my bed and tried to get warm ( If you know me, you would know that I hate to inconvenience others). I guess I am lucky that this time the flare was not as bad as last year. Last year my legs would go numb for hours and moving any part of my body was excruciatingly painful. All I wanted to do was scream.
Flash forward to Sunday, I was very disoriented. I was having difficulty breathing, talking, and making coherent thoughts. The ER nurse told me that I should have gone to the hospital sooner. They took x-rays of my lungs and saw abnormalities and decided to admit me. It's scary, not knowing what's wrong with me. I was both scared and anxious at the same time. The doctors gave me medicine to reduce my fever, but my fever would go away and the next day it would spike again. I have develop an aversion to IV needles because of the hospital. The IV needles are so painful. It was not funny when the nurses would keep on poking my arms with the needle to see if there was a vein there to do the blood transfusion. Eventually the doctors diagnosis me with pneumonia and my lupus was acting up. I stayed in the hospital for almost a whole week. When I heard that I had pneumonia, I was really scared since my grandma pasted away from pneumonia 6 years ago.
I was very touched and surprised when my friends visited me in the hospital since I told no one that I was in the hospital. I knew that they had midterms and papers so I didn't want to bother anyone (so I did not say anything). I am very grateful that my parents, and sisters care so much to come up and visit me when I was in the hospital. I made a promise to myself when I was discharged that I would take extremely good care of myself, enjoy life, be happy and to avoid the HOSPITAL. The medical bills are staggering (luckily I have insurance). I don't want to be in debt because of my medical bills...This time around I won't have a problem with keeping up with new posts.
xoxo,
Kat
I promise myself that I would continue posting new blogs; however, this past couple of months have been pretty difficult for me especially juggling school, work, and what little social life I had time to spare. Ever since late January of this year I have been feeling fatigue, and sick. I thought that it was just due to stress and a lupus flare. I had all of my usual symptoms of fevers around 101, rashes, night sweats, feeling cold, losing weight, hair falling out, arthritis pain and losing my appetite. I really didn't think anything was wrong even though I felt sick for two months.
March 7th changes everything. It was the night where I was admitted to the hospital again (a year after I was discharged from the hospital). I was asking my parents for advice when they told me to take my temperature that night. It was 104. My mom and dad was like, "Tell your roommate to take you to the hospital now!" I guess I have not been taking good care of my body. On that Friday when I was at work, my co-worker asked me, "Why are you so bundle up?" My reply, "Because I am freezing." My whole body felt so cold from the inside out. I couldn't get warm. I went to the bathroom and noticed that my fingers and lips were blue. That's when I really freaked out, but did nothing about it. When I got to my apartment, I did not want to bother my roommates so I curled up in my bed and tried to get warm ( If you know me, you would know that I hate to inconvenience others). I guess I am lucky that this time the flare was not as bad as last year. Last year my legs would go numb for hours and moving any part of my body was excruciatingly painful. All I wanted to do was scream.
Flash forward to Sunday, I was very disoriented. I was having difficulty breathing, talking, and making coherent thoughts. The ER nurse told me that I should have gone to the hospital sooner. They took x-rays of my lungs and saw abnormalities and decided to admit me. It's scary, not knowing what's wrong with me. I was both scared and anxious at the same time. The doctors gave me medicine to reduce my fever, but my fever would go away and the next day it would spike again. I have develop an aversion to IV needles because of the hospital. The IV needles are so painful. It was not funny when the nurses would keep on poking my arms with the needle to see if there was a vein there to do the blood transfusion. Eventually the doctors diagnosis me with pneumonia and my lupus was acting up. I stayed in the hospital for almost a whole week. When I heard that I had pneumonia, I was really scared since my grandma pasted away from pneumonia 6 years ago.
I was very touched and surprised when my friends visited me in the hospital since I told no one that I was in the hospital. I knew that they had midterms and papers so I didn't want to bother anyone (so I did not say anything). I am very grateful that my parents, and sisters care so much to come up and visit me when I was in the hospital. I made a promise to myself when I was discharged that I would take extremely good care of myself, enjoy life, be happy and to avoid the HOSPITAL. The medical bills are staggering (luckily I have insurance). I don't want to be in debt because of my medical bills...This time around I won't have a problem with keeping up with new posts.
xoxo,
Kat
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