Quarter-Life Crisis

It's 3 A.M. Why am I still awake? I guess it's just nerves...Too much on my mind lately. It's never good when I have time to think because I'll start to analyze and dissect every little thing in my life...I try not to think so much so I don't have to ask myself what it is I am thinking. And I tend to start to question my own questions, on and on and on...

I can't believe that summer is already over! Classes start next thursday! I am freaking out and it's not good. Every student has these thoughts right? This will be my last year at CAL!!! Woohoo! Better late than never. I am pretty scared. What am I going to do with my life after CAL? There are so many options, but I don't know what direction I want to go in yet. Grad School? Photography School? Business? I don't know. All of these fields interest me. I am just a mess. I am having a quarter-life crisis at 22! I feel so lost and confused... and it's driving me crazy. What am I going to do with my life?

I love having plans. I hate it when my plans are diverted like graduating a year later. This really upset me for a really long time. But I am finally learning to go with the flow. When I don't have a clear plan of what I'm going to do, I feel very disordered and chaotic (this is one of the major things that I stress out about). I plan to be very successful in the future! I'm very scared of the job market after I graduate. Hopefully I will get hired. I am also determine to bring awareness about LUPUS and being involved with Lupus somehow to help other people like me. I want to make a difference in other people's lives that have lupus. It's not easy or fun. Especially when other people don't understand you or what lupus is. I hate it when people say "but you don't look sick." Lupus is an invisible disease. I just want people to be better educated about Lupus.

I'll just have to take one day at a time. But I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty terrified of life after college. I should also enjoy my last year at CAL and try not to have a nervous break down by my constant rambling thoughts (like 2 years ago).

xoxo,
Kat