I noticed that the last couple of posts I have sound pretty angry and it seems like I am putting girls down. But the reason for that is that I believe that the way a person carries herself says a lot about the type of person she really is. Guys treat girls base on how the girl carries herself (act like a whore, they treat you with little respect). I am really disappointed in some people and I guess I have been venting quite a lot on my posts. Sorry for the cynical tones..
I am so over underage girls drinking and acting silly. I feel so frustrated (referring to one of my roomies that's 19). I want to be able to converse with people on topics other that boys, sex, and getting drunk. I don't want to waste my life away on meaninglessness.. I want to be able to have intelligent conversation with people about food, history, politics, art, novels, life after death, etc...I believe that first impressions are very important. It sticks. So when you act silly and obnoxious when someone meets you, that is how they are always going to remember you.
I feel truly sad that girls put out for guys because they think that is the only way a guy will "like" them in return. Girls need to value their bodies more and respect it by not giving in to every guy that shows an interest in her. He is not going to respect someone that puts out on the first night. Instead he labels her a "whore." They just need to mature and realize that there is more to life than just partying.
I honestly believe that life is about learning. As a result I love to learn new things, and experiences.
I believe that I just don't care anymore because people always let you down. It's really sad that I am just over everything. Tired of all the drama.
xoxo,
Kat
Monday, October 18, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Girls Girls Girls
Here is a poem that I came up with:
Foolish girls
act ditzy
play dumb
act kinda drunk
and them boys be up in your business
you think you're so fly
but you ain't
you think you're mature
but you're just putting on a front
acting like you're drunk
looking like a whore
I'm not surprised
when a guy loves and leaves you
cause you're just easy...
xoxo,
Kat
Foolish girls
act ditzy
play dumb
act kinda drunk
and them boys be up in your business
you think you're so fly
but you ain't
you think you're mature
but you're just putting on a front
acting like you're drunk
looking like a whore
I'm not surprised
when a guy loves and leaves you
cause you're just easy...
xoxo,
Kat
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Drama
Ever been so mad that all you want to do is cry? What's the point of crying? I usually look horrible after. My face all puffy and swollen. I am just so angry that talking about the situation makes me cry...Crying is pointless. I thought that I left all the drama when I moved. But that is not the case. I don't even know what to say to her. How do you act normal towards someone that is not willing to listen? Instead I respect her decisions and kept my thoughts to myself. I had a lot to say, but what is the point of it when the other person doesn't want to listen to reason? Only my sisters can tell when I'm angry cause my facial muscles get tense and tighter around my eyes. She thinks that I am fine with her decisions. I think that she is being unreasonable and selfish. I have decided to be myself around her. I don't dislike her as a person but I just hate the situation that she created.
I know that there will be people that you don't get along with in life; however, you learn to deal with those people. It only makes your people skills better. You are going to encounter people at the workplace that you might not get along with or rommates that you don't click with. I think that she is still too young to understand this notion. She is so set in her mind that she is not willing to give another person another chance? That's really BIG of her. I think that she chose the wrong time to break her news, especially since this is midterm weeks for me. She has a lot of growing up to do since she is still a teenager(19). I tried explaining to her that she has to be more open to different situations and different people. Because we all come from different backgrounds. She hasn't learned how to adjust. She thinks that she has gone through a lot of things. Compared to me she hasn't.
My life wasn't all rosy like hers. By the time I was 10 I knew things that I shouldn't have for a ten year old, hung out with the wrong crowd and living in fear. I told her that she is letting the petty stuff in life rule her actions. I told her to block things out but she has a wall up that she is not willing to let down. I think that she is a coward for not saying how she really about my other roomie to her face. How do you expect someone to change their behavior towards you if you don't tell them that they are being offensive? I hope she finds what she is looking for because I sincerely don't think that she will be able to make friends with her attitude and narrow-mindness.
I don't think she realized that she created more stress for me. I can't even sleep. She drops this bomb the day before I have my midterm. I couldn't concentrate on studying because the incident kept on playing in the back of my mind. I think that she is being extremely difficult and unreasonable. My respect for her have gone down because people don't do these things.
I am just so disappointed in her...
xoxo,
Kat
I know that there will be people that you don't get along with in life; however, you learn to deal with those people. It only makes your people skills better. You are going to encounter people at the workplace that you might not get along with or rommates that you don't click with. I think that she is still too young to understand this notion. She is so set in her mind that she is not willing to give another person another chance? That's really BIG of her. I think that she chose the wrong time to break her news, especially since this is midterm weeks for me. She has a lot of growing up to do since she is still a teenager(19). I tried explaining to her that she has to be more open to different situations and different people. Because we all come from different backgrounds. She hasn't learned how to adjust. She thinks that she has gone through a lot of things. Compared to me she hasn't.
My life wasn't all rosy like hers. By the time I was 10 I knew things that I shouldn't have for a ten year old, hung out with the wrong crowd and living in fear. I told her that she is letting the petty stuff in life rule her actions. I told her to block things out but she has a wall up that she is not willing to let down. I think that she is a coward for not saying how she really about my other roomie to her face. How do you expect someone to change their behavior towards you if you don't tell them that they are being offensive? I hope she finds what she is looking for because I sincerely don't think that she will be able to make friends with her attitude and narrow-mindness.
I don't think she realized that she created more stress for me. I can't even sleep. She drops this bomb the day before I have my midterm. I couldn't concentrate on studying because the incident kept on playing in the back of my mind. I think that she is being extremely difficult and unreasonable. My respect for her have gone down because people don't do these things.
I am just so disappointed in her...
xoxo,
Kat
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Random Thoughts
Being honest is not always easy. I try being honest with myself at all times. To be truthfully honest I am tired of the whole party scene. I am so tired of dealing with college boys that want to get laid and freshmen girls that are stupid, dumb and just too easy. I am just tired of the whole scene. I see girls acting really stupid and guys taking advantage of the situation and it just repels me. The only parties that I actually go to are the ones thrown by friends; I do not go to any other parties on campus. I like being able to talk to people without being groped in public. Tonight I felt very disgusted and personally attacked because a guy grabbed my ass many times at the party. I also encountered incidents where I told the guys off that I did not want to dance with them. However one guy went in back of me and did the pelvic thrust and started to grind up on me. I was angry. I told this guy that I was not attracted to him and to back off. And then he pulls this shit? Really? I got so angry that I turned around, stared him in the eye and said, "Fuck off." I never got so angry that I had to curse at a guy for him to understand that "NO" means "NO." I only use profanity when I am really upset. This incident put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night. These guys just don't have any manners or respect. I am just so tired of everything (product of my stress and not caring anymore).
I feel so stressed. I can't sleep at night (and it's my fault). I think too much and worry constantly (keeping me awake until early morning). I think I may be experiencing a lupus flare (caused by stress). My rashes and swollen ankle have reappeared. My ankle is very swollen. It is at least the size of an egg. It's also very swooshy...My lower legs and ankle looks pretty puffy too. It is from the water retention (edema). Hopefully it will go down soon.
xoxo,
Kat
I feel so stressed. I can't sleep at night (and it's my fault). I think too much and worry constantly (keeping me awake until early morning). I think I may be experiencing a lupus flare (caused by stress). My rashes and swollen ankle have reappeared. My ankle is very swollen. It is at least the size of an egg. It's also very swooshy...My lower legs and ankle looks pretty puffy too. It is from the water retention (edema). Hopefully it will go down soon.
xoxo,
Kat
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Sorry is NOT Enough
On October 1st, I read an article from the New York Times stating U.S. Apologizes for Guatemala Syphilis Experiment
And everyone thought that the United states were angels...
The experiment is very unethical of the U.S. medical research program. According to the Associated Press, American scientists intentionally infected prisoners and patients in a mental hospital in Guatemala with syphilis 60 years ago. They wanted to test if the drug Penicillin then relatively new, could prevent infection with sexually transmitted diseases. What makes this experiment so unethical is that none of the participants gave informed consent.
Strict regulations today make clear that it is unethical to experiment on people without their consent and require special steps for any work with such vulnerable populations as prisoners. But such regulations didn't exist in the 1940s (AP). Another reason why this research experiment is unethical is because it caused harm to its participants.
I feel sorry for those prisoners because the doctors let the disease run its course. Syphilis without treatment can lead to death with in a few years. If left untreated, syphilis can damage the heart, aorta, brain, eyes, and bones. In some cases these effects can be fatal. I am outraged that such research could have occurred under the guise of public health. It makes me sick to read that in Guatemala, 696 men and women were exposed to syphilis or in some cases gonorrhea, through jail visits by prostitutes or, when that didn't infect enough people, by deliberately inoculating them, reported Wellesley College historian Susan Reverby. Those who were infected were all offered penicillin, but it wasn't clear how many were infected and how many were successfully treated. Sorry is not enough for the people whose lives will never be the same because of these STDs.
xoxo,
Kat
And everyone thought that the United states were angels...
The experiment is very unethical of the U.S. medical research program. According to the Associated Press, American scientists intentionally infected prisoners and patients in a mental hospital in Guatemala with syphilis 60 years ago. They wanted to test if the drug Penicillin then relatively new, could prevent infection with sexually transmitted diseases. What makes this experiment so unethical is that none of the participants gave informed consent.
Strict regulations today make clear that it is unethical to experiment on people without their consent and require special steps for any work with such vulnerable populations as prisoners. But such regulations didn't exist in the 1940s (AP). Another reason why this research experiment is unethical is because it caused harm to its participants.
I feel sorry for those prisoners because the doctors let the disease run its course. Syphilis without treatment can lead to death with in a few years. If left untreated, syphilis can damage the heart, aorta, brain, eyes, and bones. In some cases these effects can be fatal. I am outraged that such research could have occurred under the guise of public health. It makes me sick to read that in Guatemala, 696 men and women were exposed to syphilis or in some cases gonorrhea, through jail visits by prostitutes or, when that didn't infect enough people, by deliberately inoculating them, reported Wellesley College historian Susan Reverby. Those who were infected were all offered penicillin, but it wasn't clear how many were infected and how many were successfully treated. Sorry is not enough for the people whose lives will never be the same because of these STDs.
xoxo,
Kat
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