New Year's Eve

Today is new year's eve and it would be amazing to go out, grab some drinks with friends and wait for the count down. I am staying in instead. I love going out and having a great time with friends, but I am also a homebody. I like having time to myself, watching movies, cooking, reading a book, etc. Every year I have always just stayed in and watch the ball drop at midnight from my t.v. My sister and I are going to be making pigs in a blanket to eat later. I like spending time with my sisters and brother. I think that we have gotten even closer than before. Today we spent the whole morning and afternoon catching up on AWKWARD, which is a show about an awkward high school sophomore. I remember my high school days; I always cringe when I think about the ugly duckling stage. Maybe next year I will do something for new year's eve. I kind of have the sniffles so I prefer staying in bed. I would love to be in New York for New Year's Eve one of these years. I'll make it happen.

2011 has been an amazing year for me. I graduated in May and I am finally feeling healthy again. I know that I have some really great friends and I am happy to keep in touch with them. I think that you always have to work on relationships to make it work, even friendship. We all get wrap up in our own little worlds dealing with work, school, boyfriends, girlfriends, family, but I think that it is important to keep in contact with people that you care about. I know that I do. It is very hard, but I make the time to stay in contact with friends. I also get wrap up in trying to figure out what I am going to do with my life. It is good being able to talk to friends that are going through the same time that I am going through. It is good to know that I am not alone in trying to figure out my life. This past year has really taught me that friends come and go in our lives after college; however, only a few friends stay and make a huge impact in our lives. I am blessed and honored to have met such amazing people in my life.

A lot of people have new year's resolution. I don't. I have goals instead because most people don't end up fulfilling their new year's resolution. They end up giving up. I don't want to give up. I have goals so that I may try to reach them. One of my goals is to stay fit. I recently have change my diet to a really healthy diet. My diet consist of very lean meats, lots of fish, salads, yogurt, fruits, and anti-inflammatory foods. I stop eating when I feel full. I use to over-eat when I was on the prednisone (especially high fat, sugary foods). I have been trying to go to the gym 5 days a week. I sort of stop working out this week since it is the holidays. I am going to be a gym rat again after the new year. My face has dramatically slimmed down since being off the prednisone or it might just be from stress. I think my body has become tighter, but I don't know. I am trying to lose some butt. I think that my butt is too big. I am trying to tone my body.

This coming up year I am going to try very hard to get a job. I am also going to try to take some classes. I will start studying for the gre. I am so happy to be healthy and to have a clean bill of health. My heart has some leakage, but my doctor will just have to monitor that. I am excited for 2012. I want to travel in 2012. I need to visit Texas before my cousins move back to California. I heard Houston is very similar to L.A. Another place I want to visit: New York.

Here is to a Happy New Year, everlasting friendships, and good health.

xoxo,
Kat

Update

I have been MIA from blogging for about 7 months after graduating for UC Berkeley. The initial reason I stop posting anything is that I was going through a really bad flare. I couldn't walk at all. I had excruciating pain in my legs. I had to force my body to walk to bed. I was really disappointed that I couldn't go to New York with my sisters and cousins. Instead I was taking it easy. I went to see my doctor and she put me on methotrexate in combination with Imuran. She took me off prednisone since it has stop working for me. I am so relieved no more prednisone. She said that I was the perfect candidate for Benlysta, the new FDA approved medication for Lupus. We will see if I am put on Benlysta. My new doctor in Orange County wants to put me back on prednisone instead.

It's been 5 months since I've been on methotrexate and I feel great. I have not have a flare since. Since graduating I have been reevaluating my life and what I want to do in the future. I have a 5 year plan about what I want to do with my life. I want to do something I love. I actually love writing. I want to get my Masters in Journalism or photojournalism. It would be great to be able to travel and work.

This time off I have been the healthiest I have ever been. I am actually looking and applying for jobs that are not in Orange County. The job market in Orange County sucks. I miss the Bay area and my old doctor.

Everyone has been telling me to enjoy my time off, but I want to work. I want to be productive. I am so bored, and stressed out at home. I have been cooking and baking from time to time. I guess you could say I have writer's block. I haven't been inspired in a long time. I am just starting to get into the swing of things again.

More posts to come.

xoxo,
Kat

World Lupus Day

Today is world lupus day! Please wear purple or orange to support someone you know that has lupus. I wore purple today :) Here is a World Lupus Day fact: Lupus is a leading cause of kidney disease, stroke and premature cardiovascular disease in young women. Spread the word and help us raise awareness!

Here is a picture of my rashes from lupus (this is when I was going through a really bad flare)

World Lupus Day Fact: (I did not know the number was this high!) Approximately two-thirds of people with lupus will develop some type of skin complication. This often is in the form of a rash or sores, most of which will appear on sun-exposed areas, such as face, ears, neck, arms, and legs.

Here is another fact: Lupus can be expensive to manage and live with. A recent study found that the average annual cost to provide healthcare for a person with lupus was $12,643, and was nearly $21,000 when lost productivity on the job due to illness is included (source: LFA)

World Lupus Day Fact: Lupus is one of America's least recognized major diseases. While lupus is widespread, awareness and accurate knowledge about it is lacking. Let's change this!

So I am on a full treatment with steroids since I am experiencing a lupus flare. My rhuemy gave me a higher dose of steroids. I thought that I could hide from steroids. It was just in my dreams. I am so tired of taking pills every morning and night. I know that if I don't take them there will be consequences. I am hoping that I don't gain additional weight from the steroids. I am still trying to lose the weight gain from last time. The cycle never ends. On top of this my Doctor informs me that I may have kidney damage and that I need to get tests redone this Friday. If this is the case, she will have to change my medication regiment. I just want a break. I am so tired from all the doctor's appointment, blood tests, medications, fatigue.

I have to admit that within a day of taking the steroids my fatigue and throat soreness has improve tremendously. This is my cross to bare and I gladly accept it. I just hope that I may be able to help those less fortunate than I. Help me spread awareness about lupus! For more information about Lupus please visit the lupus foundation of america (lupus.org).

xoxo,
Kat

Dedication to My Mum

To My Mum,
Happy Mother's Day! I'm sorry this is the second Mother's Day that I have not been able to spend with you. I thank you for giving birth to me. I know that being a Mother is not always easy. I think that it is one of the hardest jobs in the world. I thank you for loving me and for making me become a better woman. I don't think I have told you this before, but you inspire me everyday. You are so selfless, that at times I wish you would stand up for yourself. You have sacrifice so much for me and my brother and sisters. I don't know how you do it. I am here if you ever need to "not be" strong. I am blessed to have a mother like you. Everyday I strive to make you proud. We may not see eye to eye on a lot of things, but that is the beauty of it. Thank you for being there for me whenever I needed you. I may get frustrated with you at times, but at the end of the day you are still my mother. I know you only WANT the best for me;however, your intentions may be misguide.

Mom we have been through so much together. My first steps, my first day of kindergarten, learning how to ride a bike, first communion, the terrible teens, learning how to drive a car, graduation, dropping me off at Berkeley, doctor's appointments, and hospital stays. What people say: A mother's love is unconditional. I know that you care but sometimes your words hurt more than anybody's else. I now understand that you would do anything to "FIND A CURE" for me. But you have to accept the fact that there is no cure. I know that it hurts you to see me in pain. I know that you are afraid that I may die sooner and maybe even before you. MOM, you have to set me free. I know that in your heart I will always be your little girl. However, you can not always protect me. I have told you that I am not afraid to die, but I am afraid of not being able to accomplish everything that I want to. I need to be able to LIVE and experience life.

Ever since I was a little girl I always strive to be more like you. I hope someday I can make you as proud of me as I am of you. My graduation a week from now is not just for me, it is for you too. The reason why I push myself so hard is because of your sacrifices. I wish I could have spent today celebrating what an awesome mother you are.

P.S. I Love You Mum. I can't wait to see you in about a week.

xoxo,
Kat

OMG I'm graduating!!!

Oh my god! I'm graduating in about a week and a half!!! I am so excited! I just got my sash the other day too. I am proud of myself for finishing school. I am so happy that I underestimated all the people that told my parents to let me quit school since I have "an illness." I was never going to quit. I can't wait to see my mom, dad, and sister. It sucks that since Berkeley is so far, no body else will be attending my graduation. Even my brother and my other sister is not attending my graduation. This is a huge milestone for me. I now have the daunting task of looking for a job.

It's bittersweet that I am graduating Cal while my sister Kim just got accepted into Cal as a biology major. I am so proud of her. However she does not share my same feelings. She does not want to go to Cal. She does not like Berkeley. She would rather go to San Diego. I will definitely visit Cal a lot if she goes here. Depending if I find a job up here, she may live with me her last year. We will just have to see if I get a job first.

xoxo,
Kat